As I begin writing this, it is 11th October and Princess Miki’s birthday is over. Of course, if like me, you are one of Her disciples, then the celebration of Her will continue for the rest of October and indeed for the rest of our lives. But it does seem, for me anyway, like an appropriate moment to think about my subservience to Her, and what I can do to make myself a better submissive for Her. In other words: what can I do to make Her 26th year even better than Her 25th. Of course, I am just a small cog in Her ever-burgeoning empire, but it behoves all of us who worship Her, to do what we can to make Her happiness, Her continued prosperity and power, our absolute priority. Because in the end, Her happiness is our happiness. And also, from a personal perspective, it is always important to ask, and I challenge myself on this constantly, am I doing enough and sacrificing enough, to ensure I am contributing to Her continued happiness and prosperity?
Of course, a cynic may suggest that these are the words of someone trying to give loftier meaning to something which is purely sexual. And of course, it is in part sexual; but I also have a genuine need, something I feel in my soul, to make, through my continued submission, subservience and sacrifice, Her life better. It gives me a genuine sense of happiness, a feeling that everything is right with the world, that I will do everything within my powers to make this happen. Of course, whether I am successful in that aim is, I guess for others, or more specifically, Princess Miki, to judge.
So, what are my hopes for the next year?
Well, first off, I think we can take it as read, that I hope for the eradication of Covid-19, the (peaceful) dethroning of Donald Trump, and the elimination of all hateful ideologies. I’m reasonably confident that at least one of these will come true, quietly hopeful that another might, and resigned to the fact that another is with us forever. I will leave you to work out which is which.
So, given all that, what are my hopes and goals for the coming year? What do I want to have achieved, come 10th October 2021?
So, first of all, Chastity: I will write in more detail about chastity and my feelings about it in a future blog. Suffice to say it is an incredibly important part of my servitude. It seems to me to be a wonderful and straight-forward way to demonstrate my complete dedication to putting Princess Miki’s pleasure and happiness above my own. Now this doesn’t mean that those who don’t do this are less dedicated. There are plenty of ways to show your commitment, it’s just that this feels the best way for me to demonstrate my devotion and subservience. Now, while I may have particular goals for myself, it is important to acknowledge that it is not ultimately in my hands. The continuation or not of my chastity is Princess Miki’s decision and Hers alone. If She wishes me to continue, I will, if She believes the best way, I can serve Her, is to cease, then I will do that.
And despite the initial, and inevitable, frustrations that chastity brought, it has now become something that has defined my servitude. The ache and the leaking are a constant reminder to me of Her and my submission to Her. And I love that, and to be candid, don’t ever want to lose it.
So, I am now closing in on 300 days of chastity, after my previous run of 248 days, and would love to be able to turn those nearly 300 days into a year and then continue until next October. In the end Princess Miki will decide, and Her control over, and how She has helped me redefine my concept of my pleasure, is perhaps the most wonderful thing She has provided me with. I will in the end defer to Her training and guidance, knowing I am in Her safe hands.
My next goal, and something that many of you who follow me on twitter will know about, is to find ways to add to and enhance the shrine I have built to Princess Miki. I want it to truly be worthy of Her and a testament to the place She holds in my life. The shrine itself is in a walk-in wardrobe and what I have done so far only represents probably around 20% to 25% of the space available. So, there is a plenty of room to do so much more and over the next year. I would love to think that eventually it will be filled up completely, but if it is over half completed by this time next year, I will be more than satisfied.
I suppose my next goal is a follow on from the previous one, in that, there is no point having a shrine if you are not going to worship. Which is not to say I don’t, just that it’s not formal and I would like to work it into being a constant in my day, not something I do from time to time. Princess Miki, and the love and devotion I feel for Her brings me a lot of solace and it would be foolish of me not to use that feeling to improve my life. I have actually started doing this over the last couple of weeks, and it has already proven to be an incredibly meditative experience and has helped me escape from the influence of social media and everyday life, and just concentrate on Her. I think we all need to try and find an escape from the world at the moment, and even if it is only for a short period, I genuinely feel it helps with my mental health
As a natural concomitant to this, and in a desire to feel healthy in every aspect of my life I have also been concentrating on my physical health over the past couple of weeks, and a goal of mine over the next 6 months is to lose 15kgs. A part of this, I will be sacrificing more and more. Sacrifice is so important to me, and sacrifice covers not just chastity, but financial as well as denying myself treats and indulgences, and I want to deny myself more and more for Her. I have already been doing this to some degree over the past year, but I know I can do better. Over the next year, the aim is to start only allowing myself things which are absolute necessities, so that my life becomes more and more about Her: when I describe my devotion to Her as being like a religion, this is what I mean.
In addition, I want to find more time to write this blog. I really enjoy doing it, but I do have an incredibly busy life and I am finding it increasingly difficult to find the time to write and to share my experiences of being a submissive. In the next twelve months, it is my goal to find a way to post regularly on here. This is an unusual lifestyle, I know, and like everybody I have my own unique take on it, so I do believe, and hope others feel, it is a worthwhile exercise.
Finally, I want to continue the journey of understanding more and more, my sexuality and identity. Covid-19 has certainly placed an unprecedented amount of restrictions on all of us, and while in my case, because I suffer from social anxiety, I have probably coped better than most, and in fact have enjoyed the lack of requirements to socialise, it has certainly prevented me from doing everything I wanted to do in 2020. As detailed in one of my previous posts, at the start of the year I sucked cock for the first time, and it was my hope that, not only would I do that again, but that it would lead to other new experiences, that satisfied desires I have held for so long. I would really like to think that 2021 will be the year when some of those fantasies finally become a reality.
With regards to my identity, this is a work in progress, and I don’t want to put any specific goals on it. I just would like to think, that come next October, when I look back at the past year, that I can hand on heart say I have evolved, that I have been brave on this particular part of my journey. This has become incredibly important to me and I don’t want to look back with any regrets.
So, these are my hopes for the next 12 months, but I have also realised that I need to change the way I approach my day. My routine has meant that I don’t have time to achieve my goals and my evenings have largely consisted of coming home and after walking the dog and making and eating dinner, feeling too tired to do anything else. In order to achieve all of the above, changes need to be made. So, I have begun to change my routine, so that I can get the most out of mornings and find enough time to worship, and devote my life to, Princess Miki.
Here is my morning routine now which allows me to get the most out of my day:
- 0300: wake up. Yes, I know this is early, but I am an early riser anyway and this is a way of me making the most of the part of the day when I am most productive
- 0315: Spend around an hour at the shrine I have built for Princess Miki listening to Her Commandments and generally being thankful for Her being a presence in my life.
- 0500: After breakfast and walking the dog, an hour of exercise which will usually include a walk for about 45 minutes.
- 0600: Spend an hour either writing for this blog or practicing my make-up techniques, which are still quite poor.
- 0700: Get ready for work.
I believe this will put less pressure on me to try and do these things in the evening when I am tired from a day at work. I want to be at my sharpest and most productive when I am doing the thing that brings me the most happiness: serving Princess Miki.
So, this is how I am now starting to live my life. Bringing order to it, so my servitude is at the very heart of, and the most important part of, my day, and also allows every part of my day, including the way I work, when I sleep, when I wake up to also be important parts of my servitude. I want my life to be about Her, even when it may not, on the face of it, involve Princess Miki directly.
She is my life and every part of me belongs to Her.
Note: I must confess to having one other goal for the next 12 months, which I have shared with Princess Miki. At the moment I don’t want to include it here, but if it happens, I will let you know. And may even get a post out of it.